On the Road… Liberia Style

Not to worry, this is not going to be another rant about the traffic, although, it could be.  More like my observations/quips from the road.  Over the past 2 weeks I have been traveling through the country with my colleague, Francisco (from Ecuador).  In our “Powerful 308″ (so named by Francisco due to the license plate number – UNMIL 308- ) we have packed on many, many kilometers visiting the different sectors.  During all of the driving, I have had time, lots and lots of time, to make some observations. 

Observation #1

Life is like a game of Frogger, just sometimes you’re the car and sometimes you’re the frog.  This was actually something I noticed before all of the trips.  When driving here, all of your senses must be alert.  People will run out in front of you expecting that you’ll stop.  This is all well and good during daylight hours.  At night, however, it’s a little… trickier.  There aren’t street lights and oncoming vehicles often use their brights.  This combined with dark skinned people wearing dark clothes becomes a recipe for potential disaster.  Then there are the times that you want to cross the road.  I’m reminded of that old Looney Tunes cartoon when Daffy Duck? goes to cross the road, steps into what otherwise seems like a clear road, and suddenly, WHOOSH!!! a car races by and runs his foot over.  Luckily, I’ve avoided that so far.  But there have been times when I’ve seen my life flash before my eyes in the form of a yellow taxi racing by.  I now know the relief that that little frog felt when he got to the lilipads.  And the stress of the drivers in the vehicles. 

Observation #2

18 wheeler trucks don’t turn easily.  If you try to turn them too fast, they’re going to fall over.  On 2 of our 4 road trips we saw 2 big trucks on their side (1 conveniently sprawled across the entire road) and 1 which had been pushed to the side.  On another trip there was saw where a truck had turned and only the shipping container remained.  Driver’s licenses, although required in general, are not really checked here.  Nor is the law to get one really enforced.  I’m quite certain that over half the vehicles on the road do not have licenses.  I’m also fairly certain that there isn’t a school anywhere in the country for learning how to drive a big rig.  Hence, the accidents.  These were only the accidents we saw while we were driving.  Not too long ago an 18 wheeler had hit the side of a bus here in Monrovia.  This all says nothing of the accidents that are happening which we don’t see…

Observation #3

The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side.  How do I know this?  Because I have seen many, many chickens run across the road to do what?  Well, get to the other side!  The imagery still cracks me up.  I hadn’t really visualized it before.  I’d heard the joke many times and the wave of possible responses, however, I’d never really stopped to visualize a little chicken, legs moving quickly, head bobbing, run as fast as a chicken can run across the road.  Now that I’ve seen it, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. 

Observation #4

No matter how good your Ecuadorian cohort’s English is, jokes do not always translate well… if at all.  So, there I was…  “Que mas?” asks Franscisco after a particularly long bout of driving without any talking.  “Nada” I reply. (And no, my Espanol is not getting any better)  But, Francisco is a talker.  I can see that he’s bored (the scenery, although beautiful, doesn’t change) so I say, “Okay, I’ve got jokes!”  Now for those of you who have had the pleasure of hearing my jokes, you know that they’re pretty funny. (Thanks Jer for providing me with half of them!) So, I search my brain to come up with something not too hard.  So, I start off with what I think will be an easy one – Why do elephants paint their toenails red?  He asks why… I say, “To hide in cherry trees!” he smiles and I tell him that the joke isn’t over.  I ask, “Does it work?” and he gives me a quizzical look and says “no” and I say, “well have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?”  I start laughing because it’s funny to me.  He then replies that it doesn’t work because elephants can’t get into a cherry tree so maybe it should be a different animal.  We go back and forth for awhile before I give up.  So, I try another one. (Warning: Joke may not be suitable for all – disclaimer)  “Why do leprauchans laugh when they run?” <insert another blank stare>  “Because the grass tickles their nuts!”  Of course, I’m bowled over laughing.  He asks, “what’s a leprauchan?”  So I explain.  Ohh, he says (still not laughing).  “Get it? Tickles his nuts?”  And then I translate nuts into Spanish.  “Yeah, Yeah, I get it” as he gives me a courteous smile.  I tell him that I give up.  But, I can never really give up so I try it again with a knock, knock joke.  Dont’ even bother, doesn’t work.  And one last shot with “How’d the crazy guy find his way through the forest?”  “By taking the psycho path!”  Well, again, he was unamused (I had to explain that psycho path could be 1 word or 2 words.”  Once you have to explain all of the parts of a joke, it really loses something.  I’m guessing my jokes aren’t going to make it back to Ecuador…